I recently read Victoria’s (Inthefrow) blog post on comparing yourself to others and it did make me think a lot. I suppose the first thing to say was that it came as a bit of a shock that she actually broached the subject – she is maybe one of the most followed bloggers in the U.K and comes across as confident and sorted and yet even she was able to recognise a tendency and need to compare herself with others and their successes. I guess whether we like it or not we all do it to some extent.
Comparing yourself to others is probably inevitable to some degree and there are times when it serves a purpose. We all want to see what’s out there, to be inspired and maybe to learn from others. The problem comes, it seems to me, when we start to make judgements about ourselves based on what others are doing. This taken to the max can become a habit and a destructive one at that. So, what to do when that negative comparing feeling comes around? Well, I am no expert but here are a few of my own thoughts:
1.Use other people’s successes as motivation, for example, if someone you know has been lucky enough to go to Australia, your favourite country, don’t sit at home wondering – why not me; add it to your priority list of things to work towards and work out how you are going to make it happen (even if it takes time).
2. Use social media less. I am not saying cut it out completely- (that’s never going to happen!) Social media can be lots of fun but it’s easy to get carried away in endless and pointless ‘snooping’ of other people. This in itself can insidiously ramp up that need to compare what we do or how we look next to all the other content that is out there. Focus your time and energy on your own life, not on images of other people.
3.Concentrate on what you have achieved in your own life. It’s very easy to always want to be achieving the ‘next step’ or ticking another box all with the view of catching up with what other people seem to be doing. Stop for a while, think over some of the amazing things you have done, think about just what a wonderful person you are in your own right, you really don’t need anyone else to tell you that!
4. Realise we are all ‘comparers’. Everyone around you has at some point compared themselves to someone else in some way. Truth be told it is much more common than we might think, you and I are not the only ones! Use comparisons to help you when they can but use you as your true inspiration.
Thanks for reading this far. I’d love to know if you have any good tips on how to avoid comparing yourself to others, please do pass them on.